THE GREAT INDIAN ENTERTAINERS : PART 1

Remember the days when there was only Doordarshan, there were movies only on Saturdays and Sundays. When out of boredom you even watched movies in regional languages with sub titles. The whole concept of watching Television followed a time table, there were time slots for NEWS when children finished their homework, there was nothing known as Daily Soap, Sunday was the best day of the week. The Entertainment industry has changed in past 20 years and the change is drastic. This change spans across the whole entertainment cloud encompassing Films, Television, Advertisements, and Print Media.
Since the topic will be spanning over variety of entertainment, we will try to address each and every parts in detail, thus this post will also be in series.
In the first installment let us try and classify the Indian Films as per current standards:-
Today Films (By Films I am strictly talking about the Indian Film Industry) can be classified under various heads. The very basic classification suggests films to be of two types:
Commercial and Non Commercial Cinema. A Commercial cinema is one which does fare amount of business at box office and vice versa. If we further try to classify the Indian Cinema we will get following sub categories:-
a. Yash Chopra school of Cinema: - Predominately love stories shot mostly at the locales of Amsterdam and Switzerland. Hero generally wears bright clothes (Red Sweaters, White shirt with Beige colored chinos) or designer wears (Harley Davidson, GAP, Gucci etc.), Female leads are unnaturally beautiful. Everybody is rich.
b. Karan Johar school of Cinema:- This is derived from the Yash Chopra school. Shot mostly in USA(especially NY). Again nobody is poor, everybody is very rich and even if anyone is poor by chance, he does not look like one. They have other complicated issues.
c. Ram Gopal Verma school of Cinema:- Shot without lights. Whenever a film goes to floor, nearby hospitals goes out of stock for blood. Heroes (if there are by any chance) have moustache. Over 60 people are hired to scream while recording. Generally have 5 sentences per 15 mins.
d. Vishal Bharadwaj school of Cinema:- Mostly adaptation from Shakespeare, with a lot Indian slangs. Female leads specifically use slangs. Weird Camera angles, sometime it looks as if you are sitting on a merry go round and viewing the movie upside down.
e. Anurag Kashyap School of Cinema:- Kalki Kochelin or Maahi Gill is surely in cast. Songs are either folk or rock or both. Protagonist is either the biggest rascal or the dumbest person alive in the world.
f. Abbas Mastaan school of Cinema:- Again Adaptation but not from novels but from DVDs. Too many plots tied together. Hero knows scuba diving, car racing, shooting, karate etc in general. 7-8 Cars goes up and down in the movie.
g. Priyadarshan school of Cinema: Paresh Rawal is surely part of movie. There is always confusion. Tom and Jerry kind of climax sequence.
h. Bhatt school of Cinema: Songs or singers are imported from Pakistan. Promos excite kids less than 18 years of age. Script writer is not required. Script is mostly written on DVDs rather than on paper.
i. Farah Khan school of Cinema: This is Manmohan Desai school of Cinema with no changes.
j. David Dhawan school of Cinema:- Slap stick comedy. Almost every character insults the other characters. Songs appears from nowhere and you cannot even guess from where the background dancers came. The Background dancers are same for all the songs only costume changes.
k. Benegal,Gulzar,Nihalani,Jha school of Cinema:- will shoot daily activity of a person and tell us it is a movie.
These are the general categories in which we can classify the Indian Film makers. I have very high regards for Indian Cinema and everything written above is just for fun. No Offence is intended to any party. In next installment we will try to cover the various school of TV shows.

“Kyunki Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost…..”